Holidays mean different things to different people. In recent years in the US, I’ve noticed the emergence of a kind of genre in the popular press focusing on how stressful the holidays can be. Aside from the obvious—crowded airports and delayed flights, shopping for and preparing large quantities of food for large groups of people in too-small places without enough chairs and flatware, etc—much focus seems to be placed on how stressful and triggering it can be to get together with family. Such articles warning about the perils of time spent with relatives often appear in the “Health,” “Well,” “Health and Wellness” or “Well+Being” sections of publications and websites. Interestingly, the same sections of the same publications also frequently note that the key to a happy (and even long) life, according to most positive psychologists, is quality relationships with family and friends. Go figure—it seems we’re damned if we do and we’re damned if we don’t!
With the approach of the Lunar New Year, the most important holiday in many cultures, including Chinese culture, I’m going to cast my lot with the positive psychologists. For many of us, I hope, the Lunar New Year serves to bring people together from across the country, the world, and the generations to connect and enjoy food, music, and each other in a once-a-year festive atmosphere. I spent my most memorable Lunar New Year 38-years ago, with four generations of a good friend’s family, crammed into a single room in Shenyang China. I still visit China as often as I can, and each time I do, I make an effort to reconnect with the friend who opened her family to me in 1988 to celebrate the Lunar New Year.
At CAIS, this is my 16th Lunar New Year, and every year grandparents from as near as San Jose and as far away as New York or even Taiwan travel to our school to celebrate Mass Greeting with their grandchildren and connect with their families. We have had host “buddy” families from our partner school in Taipei travel to the US to attend Mass Greeting and connect with their CAIS family. CAIS graduates now in college and beyond remark to me at reunion events that their warmest memories of CAIS are singing “Wawa lian 娃娃脸” at Mass Greeting as kindergarteners or performing the Lion Dance in grade six. We pack over 1,000 people into the gymnasium each year, and the overwhelming feelings are joy, gratitude, and connectedness.
This year the actual Lunar New Year’s day falls during February Break. That hasn’t happened since 2015 and won’t happen again until 2034. This means some of us will be able to travel to Taiwan, Mainland China or elsewhere to celebrate the holiday together with family (I’m going to chilly northern Shaanxi to spend time with my in-laws). No one I know is dreading it or consulting popular wellness gurus about how to get through it. Everyone I know is excited to connect with their loved ones.
Wherever you go, or if you stay at home and relax, I hope this Lunar New Year is an opportunity to connect or reconnect with people who mean a lot to you. Happy New Year.